Oceanne...do you still have that harpoon?04:12 Jul 09 2011
Times Read: 1,195
...As I may have to use it twice. The first time, I will stick it in Big Momma's ass; maybe it will keep her from inhaling so much food.
Me: "So - what did you get for lunch?"
Big Momma: "Oh - just a fish sandwich and a few shrimp."
Me: (looking at her spread on the table: a huge catfish sandwich, an a-la-carte serving of shrimp, fries, and Fanta orange soda) "Oh..."
Big Momma: "I actually have dinner here to take home..."
Me: (Why you gotta' lie, hon)? "Yeah - I know what you mean. A lot of times when I get home, cooking is the last thing on my mind."
As I was on a break while she was at lunch, I put on my iPod, so I wouldn't have to hear her goddamn smacking...and by the way, she ate everything.
In the next use of the harpoon, I will kill Weeble Wobble.
The assistant chef for the baking dept - Chef R, who is cool - told me that last Thursday, a short fat woman came into his kitchens near the end of the day, asking for free food. He was taken aback, as he couldn't figure out how she got in.
He told her that he didn't distribute free food, and ushered her out of the building...from the description he gave me, the begger was Weeble Wobble. Flash forward to yesterday...towards closing time, while I still had a few PAYING customers at my station, Weeble Wobble walks in with two of the napkin dispensers. She plopped them on a counter, and proceeded to go get more stuff to bring in...what the fuck? I asked her what was she doing, and she replied that she was helping us get stuff in. I told her to stop, as it wasn't her job, and it could also be a liability issue (I envisioned her dropping one of the dispensers on her foot...then suing the school). She had this totally dumb-ass expression on her face. I was somewhat peeved, as the head cashier - who didn't have a register that day - was just standing there, not saying anything. I guess she was too shocked to really do anything. Anyway, Weeble Wobble says
"Ya'll got free food?"
Me: "Not yet. And you need to go back out into the center please."
That fat stank hoe just ignored me, as she wobbled to the back of the cafeteria and started gathering up armloads of food. Mai saw her, and went into the office for our boss. Thank God...J----- came out just in time to stop Weeble Wobble. She took the bag from her, explaining that she'd have to wait outside in the student center like everyone else. When she went through the bag, she pulled out 1 large salad, 2 small salads, two pizzas, 2 calzones, 3 fruit tarts, a large fruit cup, two small fruit cups...and 3 - 4 yogurts - which aren't freebie foods...She left with one small salad, one fruit tart, and one fruit cup. Her excuse was that she was also getting food for her father and her daughter. Now - it's not like we are uncharitable. If she would have talked to one of us without whinning and begging so much (and stealing), we would've let her have more stuff. But not as much, as the boss explained. We wanted as many people as possible to get free food - not one person hogging everything! (Later - my boss told me "We are not responsible for feeding her family...and she doesn't exactly look like she's starving!")
Anyway - we also had a lot of desserts to give out. The boss and two other cashiers rolled the rack out and handed out the stuff, as opposed to putting it out on the front table, as we normally do. And they made sure that Weeble Wobble didn't get any. It still amazes me that the woman has absolutely no shame in what she says and does. Hand me the harpoon...now, please.
COMMENTS
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tr1n1ty01
04:43 Jul 30 2011
Awesomeness!!!
WinterRaven
13:10 Jul 30 2011
It's a great thing when you can enjoy yourself at work so much.
DestroyingAngel
16:26 Jul 30 2011
ROFL...
I lost it at the beeeeeg beeeeeg booty part. Lmao @ poked with electricity. Omg. Too funny.